And so, the first entry in the epic re-blogging of my blogginess….a reader submission topic. Hey, this may just pan out…I can combine my love of being lazy, with my love of writing. Oh, I can churn out the BS like there is no tomorrow…it’s just what BS to churn out that gets me stuck. I don’t know how all these bloggy people do it. Like for instance, my over achiever Martha friend (you know who you are), who can turn out a fantastic, non-boring weekly article. How?
Well, anyway…today’s topic….Raising our Kids on Bribes and Threats….And remember: I have no Golden Answers. You are not going to leave her with the magic formula and have life changing experiences. I am just having a little chat with myself and you. Of course…if YOU have the Golden Answer…then for the love of Yo Gabba Gabba, PLEASE share it with the class. This is a give and take.
So, we all have heard the party lines of how to get our kids to bend to our will, I mean, do what they are supposed to do. Well, actually, I haven’t heard it yet. Maybe that is why my kids just completely ignore me. God love them…but they are the three most spoiled kids you have ever met. And yes….I have no one to blame but myself. I let them get away with crap. I don’t follow through with my threats. I bribe them with ridiculous things. I reward for behavior that should just be for granted.
I am the “before” picture of raising children. The one that is in black and white and the woman is all crazy haired and damn near kills herself trying to accomplish whatever the “before” task is.
So, how do I become the shiny, full color, rainbows and butterflies “After” picture? I recently appealed to the masses in my real life (I mean electronic, internet social network that did not replace all my real-life interactions) Facebook Peeps for suggestions on how to tame the wild beasts. For several nights now, I have been reduced to sputtering as a Mommy Comeback because I am just clean out of punishments. Nothing seems to get through. I have tried grounding, no tv, no wii, no toys, no playdates. I have threatened no Cub Scouts, Karate or swimming lessons. I have been the calm, reasonable Mom that quietly explains the reason for the punishment. I have been the freak out, grabbed everything and thrown it in the trash Mom (that scares even me). I have cried, I have nagged, wheedled and dealed more the Price is Right. I have done the reverse psychology of “Fine…do what you want I don’t care…” (which they are doing anyway hence this whole topic…).
I have praised the most minuscule good behavior. I have made reward charts, money jars, time back for good behavior. Aghhh!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone had excellent suggestions that worked with their kids. But, I suspect…that is after someone having a big meltdown (either parent or child). Some of them were chores, time outs, loss of privileges….
I am sure there are like 50 million books on this topic and I should probably check some of them out. But, in my heart of hearts, I know what I need to do. I need to become more strict (but in a positive way) and not let them get away with the shenanigans. I need to follow through…if I say no x without doing x…then I need to stick to my guns and mean it. I should not threaten with something unless I am prepared to carry through with it. My main infractee (is that a word…or is it infractor? Don’t know, don’t care), has made a comment like “I knew you were going to give me that back…”. HELLO???? If that is not a slap in the head right here.
Even though it may break my heart to see them really cry and beg, if there is no party….then there is no party.
On the flip side…even though I may praise him for something good, I tend to add in a negative as well. I should just remember to just let it be the good thing and leave it at that. But, I should not over praise or over reward for something he should be doing in the first place.
I need to pick my battles and stop and think…is it worth it? For him? For me?
I may not have really stuck to the main topic of bribes and threats. Raising children, for those of you that have them, is as you know…a make it up as you go. You can take suggestions and advice and if you are lucky 1 in 10 of these may work with your kid. The rest is by the seat of our pants. Them vs. Us…….so far, THEM is winning…..Help!
Well, anyway…today’s topic….Raising our Kids on Bribes and Threats….And remember: I have no Golden Answers. You are not going to leave her with the magic formula and have life changing experiences. I am just having a little chat with myself and you. Of course…if YOU have the Golden Answer…then for the love of Yo Gabba Gabba, PLEASE share it with the class. This is a give and take.
So, we all have heard the party lines of how to get our kids to bend to our will, I mean, do what they are supposed to do. Well, actually, I haven’t heard it yet. Maybe that is why my kids just completely ignore me. God love them…but they are the three most spoiled kids you have ever met. And yes….I have no one to blame but myself. I let them get away with crap. I don’t follow through with my threats. I bribe them with ridiculous things. I reward for behavior that should just be for granted.
I am the “before” picture of raising children. The one that is in black and white and the woman is all crazy haired and damn near kills herself trying to accomplish whatever the “before” task is.
So, how do I become the shiny, full color, rainbows and butterflies “After” picture? I recently appealed to the masses in my real life (I mean electronic, internet social network that did not replace all my real-life interactions) Facebook Peeps for suggestions on how to tame the wild beasts. For several nights now, I have been reduced to sputtering as a Mommy Comeback because I am just clean out of punishments. Nothing seems to get through. I have tried grounding, no tv, no wii, no toys, no playdates. I have threatened no Cub Scouts, Karate or swimming lessons. I have been the calm, reasonable Mom that quietly explains the reason for the punishment. I have been the freak out, grabbed everything and thrown it in the trash Mom (that scares even me). I have cried, I have nagged, wheedled and dealed more the Price is Right. I have done the reverse psychology of “Fine…do what you want I don’t care…” (which they are doing anyway hence this whole topic…).
I have praised the most minuscule good behavior. I have made reward charts, money jars, time back for good behavior. Aghhh!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone had excellent suggestions that worked with their kids. But, I suspect…that is after someone having a big meltdown (either parent or child). Some of them were chores, time outs, loss of privileges….
I am sure there are like 50 million books on this topic and I should probably check some of them out. But, in my heart of hearts, I know what I need to do. I need to become more strict (but in a positive way) and not let them get away with the shenanigans. I need to follow through…if I say no x without doing x…then I need to stick to my guns and mean it. I should not threaten with something unless I am prepared to carry through with it. My main infractee (is that a word…or is it infractor? Don’t know, don’t care), has made a comment like “I knew you were going to give me that back…”. HELLO???? If that is not a slap in the head right here.
Even though it may break my heart to see them really cry and beg, if there is no party….then there is no party.
On the flip side…even though I may praise him for something good, I tend to add in a negative as well. I should just remember to just let it be the good thing and leave it at that. But, I should not over praise or over reward for something he should be doing in the first place.
I need to pick my battles and stop and think…is it worth it? For him? For me?
I may not have really stuck to the main topic of bribes and threats. Raising children, for those of you that have them, is as you know…a make it up as you go. You can take suggestions and advice and if you are lucky 1 in 10 of these may work with your kid. The rest is by the seat of our pants. Them vs. Us…….so far, THEM is winning…..Help!
xoxox
Kerri
